thesis statement

     The problem with slums are that there is no enforced law therefor increased crime.  Slums are not very healthy environment.  There is hardly any space to get around and is very disorganized.

Final Draft

Jesus Amaro

11/5/11

6AB

SLUMS

 A life that has no enforced laws and not good health and is very crowded is not a place anyone would want to live in. That is how life in a slum is. A slum is a squalid and overcrowded urban street or district inhabited by very poor people. The problem with slums are that there is no enforced law therefor increased crime. Slums are not a very healthy environment. There is hardly any space to get around and is very disorganized. Life is hard in a slum.

         A slum is a very hard place to live in because of the overcrowding and bad sanitation like according to Sheri FInk's article it is very dirty,"And a muddy swamp of plastic bags obstructs the entrance to the latrine. The houses are made of mud and they're very crowded. And slums are very dirty as you can see"(Flink 2). Also there is no enforced law.

             The problem there is living in a place with no enforced laws and a corrupt government are that there is a high crime rate and, in a place like a slum it is very easy to hide in. according to Nile Blythe's article talk about corrupt government ,"The government is interested in the land not the people"(Blythe 3). It is also hard living in a crowded area with no enforced law.


         If it wasn't hard enough living in a place with no enforced laws, try while sharing most of were your live with complete strangers. That is how life is in a slum. In Elisabeth Eaves' article states how crowded it is."The neighborhood, Dhararvi, is home to about 600,000 people crammed into one square mile at the heart of Mumbai"(Eaves 4). Over all it not so easy.

         A slum is not a place anyone would want to live in. As you can see there are quite a few problems with slums.It is not an easy life there. There are organizations that try to make the government of those places to do something about the slums. Maybe slums will not exist in the future just maybe.

rough draft

Jesus Amaro

SLUMS

 A life that is not enforced with law and not good health and very crowded is not a place anyone would want to live in. That is  how life in a slum is. A slum is a squalid and overcrowded urban street or district inhabited by very poor people.  The problem with slums are that there is no enforced law therefor increased crime.  Slums are not very healthy environment.  There is hardly any space to get around and is very disorganized.  Life is hard in a slum.

A slum are a very hard place to live in because of the overcrowding and bad sanitation like according to Sheri FInk's article it says "And a muddy swamp of plastic bags obstructs the entrance to the latrine. The houses are made of mud and they're very crowded. And slums are very dirty as you can see."Also there is no enforced law.

 The problem there is living in a place with no enforced laws and a corrupt government are is that there is a high crime rate and, in a place like a slum it is very easy to hide in. according to Nile Blythe's article it says "The government is interested in the land not the people."It is also hard living in a crowded area with no enforced law.


If it wasn't hard enough living in a place with no enforced laws, try while sharing most of were u live with complete strangers. That is how life is in a slum. In Elisabeth Eaves' article says "The neighborhood, Dhararvi, is home to about 600,000 people crammed into one square mile at the heart of Mumbai."Over all it not easy.


A slum is not a place anyone would want to live in. As you can see there are quite a few problems with slums. So apparently life is hard in a slum.

Intro paragraph

     What would life be like in a slum?  A slum is a squalid and overcrowded urban street or district inhabited by very poor people.  The problem with slums are that there is no enforced law therefor increased crime.  Slums are not very healthy environment.  There is hardly any space to get around and is very disorganized.  Life is hard in a slum.

Outline

I.         Introduction

A.     A life that is not enforced with law and not good health and very crowded is not a place anyone would want to live in.

B.     A slum is a squalid and overcrowded urban street or district inhabited by very poor people

C.  The problem with slums are that there is no enforced law therefor increased crime.  Slums are not very healthy environment.  There is hardly any space to get around and is very disorganized.  

D.    Life is hard in a slum.

II.         Defendable Point #1

A.     what is hard about life in slum.

B.     Supporting evidence

                                      I.     Quote

                                     II.     Paraphrase

C.     Explanation

D.    There is no enforced law.

III.         Defendable Point #2

A.     The problems there is living in a environment with no enforced law.

B.     Supporting evidence

                                      I.     Quote

                                     II.     Paraphrase

C.     Explanation

D.    The troubles of living in a over crowded area.

IV.         Defendable Point #3

A.     How its like living in a over crowded area.

B.     Supporting evidence

                                      I.     Quote

                                     II.     Paraphrase

C.     Explanation

D.  Over all life is hard. 

V.         Conclusion

A.     Hook

B.     Restate thesis

C.  Life in a slum is hard